Hurt can cause irreparable effects that reverb. A ripple effect of sorts the way the betrayers can cover an enormous amount of ground, burden our hearts and steal our trust. One thing I have experienced professionally and by working online as a blogger and in social media is the power of hurt, betrayal. Our world has expanded across the globe yet shrunk since we all converse and collaborate online. However with working online and through electronic forms of communication we lose what is most important in our connection, the humanity. Unfortunately in email, posts, instant messages there is no tone, or sarcasm font.
We type out our emails, posts, messages and we can hear our own voices in our head, we can hear the tone. Somehow the tone is not transferred, or sometimes the tone is transferred improperly, in these transmissions. Sadly at the same time we then hit send to our recipient thinking nothing of the sorts.
Online transgressions are not limited to only our electronic correspondence. We have much of our business online as well. As bloggers we deal with people all the time. We put a great amount of faith and trust in people and never think twice about hurt or betrayal. How do we overcome? How do we learn to trust again?
I know my personal dealings ended painfully. Working hard to build a beautiful blog with a devout following for the messages I had to share, heart felt, raw, and real. When I opened myself to making “friends” online I was met with my past slapping me in the face as a way for those to seek revenge, to hurt me for their personal gain. My “friend” burned my contacts with falsities, attempted to burn my income, all in the name of pettiness. An act of high school retaliation because someone got her skirt in a ruffle. The part I played was that I would not play into girlish antics. I backed out tastefully, respectfully, calling the cards indicating my distaste and dissatisfaction for the events, the disrespect and that our relationship was truly not genuine or of a friendship.
This past year an online friend rekindled my trust and faith for the online world. My faith was even more broken as I was “voted off the island,” as my husband refers to my termination from corporate America. Shifting in moments of self pity, self deprecation, anger, rage, hurt. My friend pulled me back to show me a renewed faith and helped me rekindle my love for people once more. She encouraged me to seek my reinvention. Life was bigger than me, my Faith was telling me to believe. Believe that everyone deserved a second chance, delivering forgiveness, redeeming people as a whole instead of condemning them for a single bad egg of the bunch.
My friend showed me that not all two people are the same. Working online could be fulfilling again. I could write to my hearts content. I found my voice. I found my love which was once lost. I found I could continue to love people, empower them as I once did, share in their triumphs and trials, put feelings into words.
I found that I could trust again and work online with strangers, even if I did use some sarcasm font as a defense mechanism. When I came back to work with Joie, she encouraged me to become vulnerable again and lead the charge with other vulnerable bloggers who were just like me. Have you been scorned by people online? People in your “community?” Are you afraid of history repeating itself? Well know you are in good company as we are all in the midst of a great leap of faith to create something wonderful, powerful, moving. If we happen to trust again, give something bigger of ourselves and maybe forge friendships of the same caliber, success monetarily and professionally would just happen to be an afterthought with all we will gain on a personal level.