Women in business make me giggle quietly to myself. Cackle actually. They are like a super power of vaginal geniuses converging together in a coup to overthrow the world of men. Not really, but in the corporate world this is how women band collectively. Women have a respect for each other that they will not undercut the other in an effort to get ahead, rather they recognize their areas of opportunity and surround themselves with powerhouses that help make up for the shortcomings. A marriage of harmony, using each others strengths, instead of exploiting their weaknesses,for the same end goal.
My mind is boggled how in the online world, social media, blogging, women can act like the ants of the world, assholes. Attempting to dominate one another, tearing one another down behind the others back, all in an effort to climb the imaginary ladder of success. What is the need? Why do women lash out to one another in such a vindictive way?
I see these actions as putting feminism back by years. More so it puts blogging as a business back years.
Day after day I see women preaching how their blog is their profession but they do not treat what they do as their line of work. An entitlement of sorts to receive payment for the work they put into their blog, but they make no effort to put work into relationships that further business. You see business was not built just on the product alone, business was and is built on relationships. Relationships like everything else require the same passion we put into our work, no matter how awful the task.
Eating crow, massaging and stroking where needed, is just how to be successful.Back stabbing, whining, complaining, and creating a path of destruction in the wake is not a way to be successful.
Bloggers have a tendency to react the opposite due to the 24hour news cycle with information constantly flowing on and through the internet. Getting their panties in a bind they immediately turn to their social networks and bashing ensues. Suddenly these women and bloggers forget that the other person is just that, a person, completely human and subject to error. Granted, some women do not have the emotional maturity to keep their inner bitch at bay, but even pretending goes a long way to keeping the peace, furthering your career.
I found in the corporate arena that no matter what position or title you hold there is a certain level of expectation for how you act, react, behave and your tone. Sometimes that requires playing nice when you don’t want to and or sucking up to a situation that is just foul. My most successful mentors knew how to play this game well and had a tremendous amount of influence. They were successful because they never had anything bad to say about anyone (even though they would want to throat punch some of these people). These ladies surrounded themselves with people (men and women alike) who had strengths that offset their weaknesses and they communicated patiently and calmly. Rather than flying off the handle at the impossible, they would ponder the information and review all the various sides in order to understand the situation.
Conflict is going to happen. Conflict is evident. How we deal with that conflict says more about our character and professionalism than page views, page rank or Alexa data. Women do not have to be best friends, but they must have a certain level of respect and professional candor to be taken seriously. Consider how asinine men would look if they acted as foul and obnoxious as women do to each other; they have a conflict, speak their peace, tell the other party to piss off and the next day it’s as if the event never took place. End of story.
One of the toughest pieces of advice I can ever share is to swallow your envy, jealousy and pride. Stop trying to be like the other person. Stop vying for what they have and go after it yourself, but do it with honesty, integrity and class. Stop being so proud that you cannot ask or share help. A favorite comment made to me as a 19 year old girl in management was this, “I want you to have my job, take my job. I want to teach you everything I know and then some. Your success means my success.” My boss told me that two decades ago and it stuck with me. I busted my ass, made friendships, acquaintances, and networked before social media. I learned to work with people in difficult situations. I learned to accept that everyone is not like me and I am not like them. Each of my experiences taught me how to be better, I took a nugget away if the relationship was irreparable and recognized any immaturity on behalf of either party. That is emotional maturity and professionalism to admit and accept fault, especially when working with women.
Even though you continue to get business this may not mean that you are seen as a pro, as in professional, but more of pro as in prostitute. Your services are being acquired and paid for, but no one really wants to admit they work with you, just that you are a means to an end. The single most valuable piece of advice of being a woman in business is to always be humble. Always. Humility is the key to success. Just when you think you are too big, you probably are and soon you will be reminded how big your ego is and how little humility you have left. Your lack of humility could also lead to a lack of a paycheck and lack of professional respect by your peers. So consider your comment next time on Facebook, email, a blog that anytime you bash a peer (especially a woman), you bash the entire community and end up isolating yourself. Food for thought.